About six months ago, I started writing myself a lullaby to help deal with trauma I still carry. Sometimes we hide things in the darkest corners of ourselves and convince ourselves we are still under attack long after the original damage is done. Yes, that demon has always been standing behind me.

Lyrics:

Has that demon always been standing behind you?
Cuz you’ve been chewing on bullets
With that gun in your lap
Did it touch you with it’s black cancer hands
I saved every key to every lock
For every door I’ve ever opened

Eden is a quiet beach
So scream when the tide gets too high
Where the trees grow bigger
Than I’m brave enough to climb
Oh, we’re more than not friends
Cuz you’re only sane when you get paid
But we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it

Oh, I’m just looking for a good place to hide
Somewhere I can live out the best days of my life
I’m looking for a good place to hide
Somewhere I can live the rest of my life

I started off broke
Working at a billion dollar corporation
Where it’s ok to be illegal
Around those who are impressed with themselves
Oh, she’s gone mad
But always knew where the good drugs were
On one last permanent midnight
I’ve had enough of the sun today

Oh, I’m just looking for a good place to hide
Somewhere I can live out the best days of my life
I’m looking for a good place to hide
Somewhere I can live the rest of my life
Somewhere I can live the rest of my life
Somewhere I can live the rest of my life